Organized Chaos

O.J. Simpson and Plaxico Burress are not the pair you’d want to have dinner with. They both recently found their way into trouble after using a firearm and are tied for the Jerk of the Week honor (which has gone a bit astray, but I promise to be more vigilant in 2009).

The Juice was found guilty last week on several counts of armed robbery and kidnapping in Las Vegas. The former Buffalo Bills running back, who was aquitted of murder some 13 years ago, told the court he thought he was doing nothing wrong in trying to retrieve stolen property.

Well, O.J., threatening someone with a gun and stealing is wrong in just about everyone’s book. We all know you have skewed view of right and wrong, but perhaps the at leats nine years you’ll spend in prison will jar your memory. He’ll be behind bars until he’s 70 and could be in longer.

Then there’s Plaxico Burress, who last week was suspended for the remainder of the season after shooting himself in a club. The often troubled wide receiver might not play with the New York Giants again, and he has no one to blame but himself.

This is a guy who has missed countless meetings and training sessions. He’s been fined enough money to keep Wewahitchka running for a good four months and he thinks nothing of it.

Now, he shot himself in a club with a gun that was tucked away into his sweatpants. Yes, he wore sweatpants to a club.

Both of these guys can be put into the category of nimrod. They both had a full life ahead of them. And now it’s anything but.

O.J. could flash his smile anywhere and pick up and endorsement, and he basically got away with murder (whether he did it or not is not the point, but you’d think you’d keep your nose clean). Plaxico could do the same, plus he was making mega millions catching a football.

Now both are worthless. And they will have to rebuild reputations that have become tarnished. Good luck with that.

Dishonorable mention: United States automaker CEOs. You guys recently flew to Washington, D.C., asking for a bailout. Oh, and those flights came on company jets, which cost more than $20,000 per trip and each worth several hundred million dollars.

Imagine how many of the expected job losses you could save by selling these jets. Better yet, how bout giving up some of you $25 million salary.

Or, make better cars that have better gas mileage and won’t break down on the way to Walmart. Or, heck, make them more affordable. You know I saw an ad for an high-priced SUV, where the commercial had the fortitude to say the $12,000 you save is immense.

The final price tag was $57,000. Yeah, we’ll all be out to buy that in the morning.

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